Pillow Talk

Tonight as we go to lay down, hubby wants me to massage the knots out of his arms. As I am doing so, I look over and say: "I wonder what it would be like if I could hypnotize you so that every time I snapped my fingers, you'd instantly get hard?"

Hubby snorts a laugh. "Remember when you heard me laughing earlier? Well, I was reading a comic called Blooming Fairies, and the main character was telling a friend of hers that her love slave was always ready to go: 'until I give the command; soft!' and then there's a hissing noise of deflation. But you can't see anything except his backside. So the friend asks: 'Well, what about when you want him to get ready to go?' and the main character replies: 'Why I say hard, of course.' And you hear a boing!"

I said: "I'd love to be able to do that to you, but maybe I should pick something less common than the snapping of fingers."
Hubby replies: "Yeah because you know I'd be in the middle of a conversation with somebody, and they'd be like: "Oh what was that called again?" Snap snap snap. "It'd be like an overdose of viagra, my body would just be hearing: hard hard hard! Losing that much blood flow, I wouldn't even be able to feel my legs. I'd have to call the doctor, and then I'd be dragging myself on my back to the door."

That's when I asked: "Why on your back?"
Hubby said: "At that point, I probably couldn't reach the floor if I turned over. It'd be like dragging an anchor!"

"I'd be at the doctor saying: 'Doc it's no longer turning blue, it's turning purple! No, there's so much blood in there that it's skipping purple and turning right to black! It's gonna fall off!'"
Both of us are laughing our asses off by this point, so then we change the conversation for a while.

I'm now looking at hubby's chest, and if you've never seen it, it's pretty darn hairy. I say out loud: "I wonder what it would be like to spread some Nads (A hair removal wax) across your chest and then yank all your hair off."
Hubby gives me this LOOK, and says: "It'd be like a punch to the jaw, because that's what would happen, I'd punch you in the jaw. And then, I'd wait until you were sleeping, and I'd spread that Nads between your legs, and you'd be like: 'Hmm hubby's playing with me,' until I suddenly rip that right off."

I said: "I'd kick you!"
Hubby says: Oh hell no! I'd rip it off at a full run out the door. I'd be halfway down the stairs by the time you could even start screaming. And then I don't even think I'd have to rush to get on my bike and ride away, because I don't think you'd be able to follow me. You sure as hell wouldn't be riding a bike at that point!"

OMGs I was laughing SOOOO hard that I about fell off the bed! I immediately jump up and shout as I'm running away: "I'm gonna get my computer, because that's going on the blog!"
lol!