Honey, I just made the operator cry...

Years ago, after we had JUST moved into our apartment in Brooklyn Park back in 2001, we were told that our phone service would not be hooked up for at least another day or so. All of a sudden, the phone rang. James was pleasantly surprised that it was working, but when he answered the phone, it sounded like a telemarketer.

He was upset that our first call was from a telemarketer when we hadn't even given the number to any of our family or friends yet. So he immediately went into this mode... He says his asshole switch was flipped and he laid into her about how wrong it was for us to have a telemarketing call before anyone else could even call. He berated her for a few minutes - probably at least 2 - before stopping to hear her excuse, when she tearfully explained that:

She was calling from the phone company to explain that we now had our service and wanted to make sure that everything was working properly. She was damn near sobbing, which made my hubby feel like a colossal heel, and he quickly called me into the living room.

"HONEY! I just made the operator cry!"

I remember blurting out - from the other room - "What?! Why???"

I came into the room and took over the call and calmed her down and soothed her ruffled feathers, and just generally made her happier. Not to mention PROFUSELY apologized for my hubby's bad behavior. And then when I got off the phone with her, hubby and I had a really good laugh about it. I told my hubby that he was answering the phone from now on, lol!

Other really good phone answering lines :-D

James has ACTUALLY answered the phone: "County Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em." And the person asked for his mom, he said that she wasn't there. "Can I take a message?" The person then asked: "Is this her home or her work?" Seriously??? You really think the city would let their employees answer the phone like that?!

My favorite for my family is: "Packard's Pool Hall. We provide the balls, you knock 'em up! How may I help you?"

One night when working at Hardee's, hubby accidentally answered the phone: "Welcome to Hardee's may I take your order?" And the guy was like: "Um... how are you going to get it to me?"
Hubby replied: "We've got a fax machine here. It'll be a little dry, but it comes out warm!" His manager was standing right behind him cracking up. At that point, he handed her the phone: "Maybe you should take this now."

Lastly, one time when James was working at Super America (the gas station) with a guy named Brock, they were talking about how Brock had previously worked at Burger King. Then, a person arrived at a pump, and James pointed to the microphone because they are supposed to welcome each customer as they authorize the pump for use. Brock reaches to take the microphone, and hubby mutters: "Welcome to Burger King."

Brock immediately talked to the customer, saying: "Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?" He then realized what he said, and you could hear his head thunk into the microphone in shame. The customer pushed the reply button and asked: "Can I get fries with this?"

After that, as the customer finishes pumping, Brock begged James to come over and ring the customer up because he is so embarrassed, and James told him: "No no! This one is all yours!"

As an extra tidbit, here's another order mishap:

While working at Hardee's, the ringer for the drive-thru goes off, and James greeted the customer: "Welcome to Hardee's may I take your order?" The customer starts ordering a large Meatlover's Pizza... at a burger joint...

James explained to the customer that this was HARDEE'S and that Domino's and Pizzahut are just up the road. The customer apologizes: "Sorry, not paying attention! Can I get the Nacho Bell Grande?" Hubby cuts him off: "Sir, Taco Bell is next door. This is Hardee's. We have burgers, fries, chicken..."

The customer replies: "Oh God! Where is my head today? Um... just give me the Whopper and -"
James cuts him off again: "Sir, that's Burger King. This is Hardee's; we have the Monster Burger..."

At this point, the customer is so flustered that he says: "I'm just gonna come in and order!" He then pulls forward and drives off very quickly! All James could say to his co-workers was: "I'm glad I'm not driving while HE'S out there! He seems a little confused..."

lol :-)