The Sledgehammer Incident

Back when James worked at Cummins Onan, one of the clowns, um er co-workers, was supposed to be training in a new temp. However, his idea of training was sitting on his ass on a chair telling the guy what to do rather than showing how to do it or making sure that anything was actually getting done. After a while, the new temp was disgusted by the lack of real training, and was afraid that he would get fired because he wasn't able to do what he was supposed to.

The guy that was supposed to be training him wandered off, so my hubby asked the temp to come over to his section and train with him. Eventually, the yutz comes back to discover that the trainee had defected. So he decided to wander over into my husband's area and try to tell him how to do his job.

This is someone who shows up to work late, doesn't even do his own job, and often tells others to slow down so that they don't make him and his cronies look bad. However, even his cronies - who took frequent coffee breaks, couldn't stand him and often sent him to my hubby's area just to get rid of him.

Anyway, at one point, he gets right in my hubby's face. James does not appreciate being told what to do by someone like him, and decided to hold up a large, 16-lb sledgehammer and loudly and emphatically tell this man: "If you ever get in my face again, I'm going to shove this sledgehammer up your ass!"

The yutz wisely walked away.

The next morning, the area supervisor - Hubby's boss's boss, the same man who introduced a temp to my hubby when James said his name was Satan - comes walking over to ask about the "incident." James quickly explained what had been going on with the yutz not doing his job, and how he got upset when the yutz got in his face. He then told his boss straight out: "So yeah I told him that I would shove a sledgehammer up his ass, and I'm telling you right now that if he ever gets in my face again, I will!"

Roger - his boss - dropped his head into his hand, rubbed his forehead as if he suddenly had a headache, but then walked away. He didn't say a word, and James could almost hear him thinking: "I need this employee... I can't get anyone else to work in this department."

About 2 hours later, there was an announcement that James had an emergency phone call. James rushes to answer it, and it turned out to be his mom, who said: "A state trooper called, trying to find you. He needs you to contact him immediately." So hubby called the police officer, and was told:

"We have a report that your vehicle passed a schoolbus at high speeds." This was in a town that my hubby had never heard of. "The report describes your vehicle as a dark pickup that passed the bus at about 7am."

James says: "First of all, at 7am the sun was up, and my truck is a bright, flaming, cherry red. At 7am, there's no way my truck could be described as dark. And besides, I've been at work since 6am."
The cop asks: "Can anyone confirm that?"
James replies: "At 7am, I was in a meeting with my boss."
The cop wonders: "Can he confirm this? Will he remember the meeting?"
James states: "Well, the meeting was about shoving a sledgehammer up a co-worker's ass. I'm pretty sure that one is going to stick with him for a while!"
The line went totally silent for a few seconds until my hubby says: "Hello?"
The cop responds with: "Uh... we may need to contact you later."
Hubby snorts: "I doubt it. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check on my truck and make sure that it hasn't been stolen!" And then he hung up.
It turns out that hubby's truck wasn't stolen, and the cop never called back.

I personally have to wonder what was going through that cop's head when my hubby told him that, lmao!